Wouldnt you like to buy me a yellow Rose

starswillshoot @ 2004-09-06T22:58:00

2004-09-07T03:10:02Z

Hey everyone that dont read my Lj...ha, anywho i know i have not been updateing my lj like i used to but i have been so extreamly busy.so i h ope you can read below about my past few days and understand.

So it is really hard to have a boyfriend that works 10 hours a day. because you never get to see him. wellthis weekend i have had so much fun. and i got to spend +++ time with grant.

Thursday, stayed the night at amber and grants house, we watched movies and went to taco hut..

Friday,I worked, then went and hung out with amber and her aunt..well of course i stayed the night over there, but i fell asleep early, then saturday after work, Grant and his mom picked em up and we all went to lovers lane, aww grant bought me the cuites underwear and other stuff but yeah lets keep it at stuff..then i ended up staying the night there...then sunday i got to spend all day wiht grant again until i got called into work, then i was pissed, lol, then grant came and got me and we went to joes new place him and his girl friends just got there own place in browstown...it was cool.. we all stayed up all ngith chillin, then today grant brought me home and we did our family things, and his family came over my house for dinner and my mom and his mom talked about getting me a stripper for my 18th birthday...YAY!! lol..then grant and i went and looked at a care for me, and i like it and i called my dad and he is gonna give me the m0oney for it BIG YAY!!>.. but grant is takeing me to look at it again in the day light but it is pretty much an ok car, just got a lot of miles on it...but it runs...anyways

tomorow is my very last first day of high school, i am so happy sad, because i have no clue what i am doing after high school, i am so scared to get out into the world even though it is what i want so bad....le sigh

AWESOME...bigboys tomorrow with the crew for lunch are you there?

I love you jew...

starswillshoot @ 2004-09-02T11:10:00

2004-09-02T15:14:35Z

happy anny baby,,,, I LovE you soo much <3 my heart is your forever.

starswillshoot @ 2004-08-31T22:15:00

2004-09-01T02:18:38Z

...........

everything blows

..........

thats all.

starswillshoot @ 2004-08-31T00:42:00

2004-08-31T04:50:07Z

Wow. i havnt updated in awhile...ehh oh well...to busy..

today was a lot of fun...i went out with grant this morning...we went to auto zone, and murrys, and the mall, then i went to work, and afterwards i took mom out to dinner...mmmm big boys..then...i went out wiht the crew..i had so much fun..i just love going out with them...we tight.... but our waitress was a bitch so we left her a 56 cent tip a few sugar sticks and a Cig,, hey it was the least we could do she was the worse cunt face i have ever met!.. Then nick hit me wiht his car in the dennys parking lot..and i have a big bruise on my knee...ouchy...damn him ******...if he wasnt white i would sew him *haha a mexi joke towards nettie*

dood...i am lovelyer that goat cheese....umm okay

so yeah now i am just waiting for grant to get off work to come see me..cuse i miss him :(...and he has them work all effin day hours//

Haha i would fuck you!!!

...Wait no i wouldnt!!!!

Have a nice fucking day!

tears

2004-08-26T03:46:57Z

I HATE FEELING THIS WAY

Last ngiht grant and i got into a fight and i said somethigns i shouldnt have said, but i guess i meant it....

I kinda feel like the dumb ass..but the truth hurts....

i had the rightto feel that way.....and i told him

why are relashionships so fucking worthless??

starswillshoot @ 2004-08-23T09:16:00

2004-08-23T13:22:24Z

Weekend....=....Grand..

+i had alot of fun
+ I now have red hair and i look like bobo
+i am staying at dads house this weekend
+I went to great lakes crossing...effin sweet
+I am makeing brownies right now(fat free)
+I get to go school shopping this weekend with dad
+grant took me to the movies and to a car show :)
+ I am finally home....yippy
+I get my pay check today
+Mom and i argued last night about senior pictures
+ The prince and me is such a lovers movie,
+ i must say i am in love with julia stiles

so anyway i got to go take my books back and pick up my check later dudes

2 months until i am 17...woooo!! lol :)who cares

sitting on my ass never felt so nice

2004-08-18T22:38:26Z

: )       + last night i stayed the night with amber and Her aunt +
                     +Last night i got a good night kiss+
                                       +le sigh+

So summer is almost over and i am thrilled to say that....

Amber Jade is truly my little princess......

I might buy my sisters monte carlo.....but im not sure..i like the way it drives.......

o still owe my dad $ bling.....eeeek

I am more in love every day that passes! <3

josh called me wtf?!?

Sleep Ova?

2004-08-17T04:40:20Z

So last night After work, Grant came and got me, and i pretty much hung out wiht my XXX Lover the entire night AKA Amber Effin Jade. We talked about alot of things, and watch "deeply" with her aunt...and Dean...her aunts boytoy...tryed to be my PAL...<jhdgflskdhgf> LMFAO....wow good times amber..Anyways..So today i woke up and made grant and amber some pancakes..and then made grant and dean a lunch for work.< because they both work looong hours>,,it is the least i could do... I love when i can run and jump on grant in the morning to get him up..I just love him so much...and i am so happy <3..I just sometimes wish we could have more alone time together, because that is somethign we havnt got in well...ever...and it is hard lol...but this weekend we are gonna hang out, just him and i ..*sigh*..But saturday i am promised to amber and her aunt , for it is her birthday and we have plans...teehee

anyways today work was stressful, the manager was being sweet as usual...but my day was pretty slow...but not to bad..

Also mom might have a new way beter job soon

Tonight i got amber her birthday shoes...i took them over to her house..and she loved them...i knew she would..i am such a good friend!!! teehee

starswillshoot @ 2004-08-15T00:41:00

2004-08-15T04:45:23Z

So working the lions game was fun.....they won 7-21...woop woop....i met alot of old people, and they were grumpy but i love old people...my brother bought me a tshrit..well i should have got a smaller one because the large goes to my knees...oh well i have alot more games to goo!!....me and grant totally didnt get to see much of each other..cuse he was put at some other booth...ehh its life. and yeah im waitng for a phone call to see if im staying the night over there tongiht....*wishy*.....

Im still mad at him though!!...and i got the right to be!!.....

Tomorrow my mother will be 38 haha...she is getting so old....

but i love her she is my princess

good night everyone!

starswillshoot @ 2004-08-14T00:54:00

2004-08-14T04:54:36Z

I really hate fighting but i also hate, how a girl can not have guy friend when he is dateing someone.....

Crappy

Why must i be cold?

2004-08-12T15:19:27Z

Yesterday was our Key club meeting...omg did everyone have alot to talk about..but we have a strong year and i am so looking foward to it!...

This saturday i am working the lions game...i have to sell tshirts but i talked grant into going with me...teehee><..Free game for us!

Man i was seriously missing grant so much..i think i went almost 4 days with out seeing him/hardly talking to him..so he came over at 2 am after work ....omg i dont think i was ever so happy to see him in my life<3...and i finally got to give him the homemade brownies i made him....teehee..i dont believe in that boxed shit...Anways grant only has one job now, so we basically have the weekends together and stuff...which is cool i guess..but i sadly enough asked for more hours at work..just because choir camp is coming up and i have ALOT of traveling to do this year lol...money money money......

I would just like to give a shout out to everyone with an AUGUST birthday....<the month that i go broke>

Bethany
Tonya
Amber
Mom
Ashley
Tonya B
Joshua
Jeff
Kinny.....

Teehee...and if i forgot you...then you must not be cool enough to be on the cool kid list .....fuckers!!!

So tonight i work...how cool is that??

HOLY SHIT

2004-08-10T00:31:15Z

SHE MADE IT!!! my little sister is going to hollywood, and i am so proud of her!!!!...I am so proud of her, i just cant not express it enough!!...that little girl has got it going on...I always known her anglic voice would pay off!!!!.....omg i am so excited for her...out of 360 ppl only 80 got picked from m ichigan and she was in the top..but she went for singing, and was picked for singing and acting!!...i am so jealious..but happy for her at the same time....god i love that girl...

CONGRATS BECKY>>> I AM GOING TO BE HERE FOR YOU THROUGH EVERYTHING!!!!!

Long since forgotten

2004-08-08T16:55:56Z

So yesterday was a good day....i got to spend alot of time with grant...and Amber......but i miss read the hours i was suppost to work and went in 2 hours late...but i just got a no call no show...and they sent me home, to where i just went out with jr and amber and then ended up staying the night with them again...it was crazyness out last ngiht....police chases on like telegraph...whoa...but me and amber threw some of jrs cd's out his truck window lol...<oh well he didnt need them that we knew of>...HAHA...and then we took his bomb bags teeehee...lol

Last night i got to dance under the stars...and we layed in the road and held hands lol..."notebook" haha were losers..but oh well....

my tummy hurts still... :(

new day different lover

2004-08-07T04:03:08Z

Oh man last night was a fun night....i stayed the night at grants....his mom stayed up late talking to us...that is one of the reasons i love going oveer there...his mom is so fun to talk to..then this morning i ran in grants room and woke him up with a big wet kiss...lol then we just cuddled for awhile...then when it was time for him to go to work i helped him make his lunch ...cuse men are really slow....geeezezeze...BUt it is worth it...and yeah he brought me home..

Man I love that boy so EFFIN much!!!

Today i got to see dana i was so excited i havnt seen her in like two months...yay...

i t hink i have the flu i cant eat anythign but ice cream with out feeling like im gonna puke!!,,,ugh

Sarah Lambrix i miss you sosososososo much!!!

starswillshoot @ 2004-08-04T23:28:00

2004-08-05T03:37:04Z

Growing up in this world has got to be the worse ever......

It seems like there will never be an end to feeling this way...it just keeps getting worse...im so ready to just give up........

HOlsy shit

2004-08-04T01:42:29Z

OMG...I just told my mom somethign that i never though i would.........

And it isnt even werid!!!<go me>

Grapes or Icecream?

2004-08-03T19:12:05Z

Yesterday was a very fun day.....i hung out around my house for awhile....then went and seen the villege with Jade and her aunt...then afterwards we went back to there house and hung out all night just the girls....we talked about everything ...at about 12 grant got home from work...YAY!! my love muffin...teehee then like all of us hung out in the liveing room untill we fell asleep...lol....I love grant so much he is the best ever...I also learned that when his mom says Whatever...that usually means fuck you..lol...his mom is thee greatest.
So I got into LSSU <Lake Superior State University>..but i dont no if that is really where i want to go....it is so far away..5 1/2 hours...basically in the U.P. I also got into A school in chicago...but i dont remember the name of it <shows how much i care about that school huh>Time is just goign so fast.I wish i could go back to my freshmen year...when things didnt seem so stressfull.....but i got more apps to send out....i just gotta wait until i get some money...lol

but yeah i got bored in the morning so i took some pics or my room

<Mi Bed>And my care bears

yup that is my fav place in the world..besides grants room...teehee

starswillshoot @ 2004-08-02T02:29:00

2004-08-02T06:32:02Z

Wow today has been a rough day..work was so so..im sick of old ass guy hitting on me....Lol..but what can i say " baby got ass"... anyways i came home and got into a huge fight with my family...and well it never changes...then i went out with ash and nick since there leaveing for florida tomorrow...geez im gonna miss them....but i love them they make me feel so much better..

So from this point out every thing is so much different....I love Grant so much and that is that...nothing will ever change that!!!

*2nd*

God i love grant rutherford so much

2004-07-31T03:47:31Z

Today i got to spend alot of time with grant...<3 i wuv him so much, we watched American wedding, and stuff,Teehee... at least I know how to work defrosters...and that is pretty sad considering i dont have a car!... lol

can i have some cold ice with that?

2004-07-30T04:53:23Z

today i got to see grant and i was happy and he gave me MR Teddy and it smells like him

Grant smell= curve....yummy!

and i love them bother very much.....

He is HUGE

< Teehee so cute>

MR teddy says ROAR!!!!

yay so grant and i are both off tomorrow so we get to hang out, im so excited!!!

1am

2004-07-29T15:19:11Z

last night grant came over at 1 just to give me a kiss, and to talk for like 5 minutes....i didnt want him to get in trouble. Then like idk, Rhhh! then we starded talking about alot of stuff, and he brought up how comitment isnt for him and he would rather have a girl as a friend cheat on him, than a girlfriend...i dont no why he said that, i mean idk, but i guess he knows i have been hanging out with james, and he is all like if you go for another guy or somethign happens between you and another guy i would be devastated blah blah blah....OH WELL...i just want to say that so bad, Grant and i hold no title AT ALL...well except FWB....ehh. I dont no what he is so worried about most of my friends are guys. and i cant date them all.And i wouldnt either...sometimes i wish i could just move on...Sometime i wish i could just tell him listen were jsut gonna be friends..but i dont want to hurt anymore, and i dont want to hurt him......

wtf, im gonna go jump off a fucking bridge!!!

im such a confused ass hole!!!

123***your move

2004-07-29T03:42:21Z

So today I did alot of thinking, about everything. and i can't let things go on between grant and i , if i know were not getting together. But I cant help things there, i think i have done just about everythign i can to try to be more with the guy. I can't help the fact that i am so much in love with him, that I would do just about anything and everythign for him. And letting go is gonna be about thee hardest thing that i will ever have to do, but I can not wait around forever, i have learned my lesson befor.And im really scared about alot of things, i know that grant is a great guy, but after i slept with josh, he basically never talked to me again and now has a new thing or what ever it is.But i relized that truly i wasnt in love with him, but i loved him as a person. boy do things change quick. anyways i found out he got what he wanted and now i am just the past. I dont want to be just a girl to grant i dont want to be just the past...And idk sometimes i get these feelings that thats all i am sometimes...but hey you never know right, ANYWAYS.,... like i was saying...as much as i love him, i know where not going anywhere any tiem soon, and even though we have that little promise thing going, it was a very stupid pointless thing to do...i told grant that i would be willing to wait forever for him...but forever is such a long time and i can not do it...i can not tie myself down to nothing anymore....NOTHING is happening at all...I have turned so many guys down over the past few weeks.its nuts..i get lost in confusion everytime he kisses me..i get lost for hours when he tells me he loves me.Is it really love?..sometimes i dont want to reply but i do because my heart tells me too...and sometimes it hurts saying it knowing we'll pry never be anythign more than friens....i had my chance and i blew it ....i let go of things...but things do happen for a reason right?...I love someone that i will pry never beable to call mine....i feel like i have lost it all.....WHY DO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH......????

Well first off i love him because no matter what kind of day it is he can always make me smile, i love him because when i look into his eyes he looks back, and when he holds me in his arms he dont let go until the very last second of th e Day, and i love him because when i am cold he is always there to keep me warm,I Love him because when i stay the night over his house and fall asleep he always covers me up with his blanket and kisses me on the forhead, i love him because he know how to remind me how beautiful i really am.And when we argue it always turns into some kind of comedy.i love him because when i am with him i get lost for hours upond hours. I love him because he know how to touch me in just the right places aka my heart. I love him because of all the sweet nothing wispers into my ears..and all the AIM late night convos, there are a million other reasons why i love him...but i think you get the point....

And i would really be willing to do what ever it took to keep this love going but...it isnt up to me anymore...I have made my moves...

Wow Living the single life...CUSE I EFFIN CAN.

2004-07-28T13:19:44Z

so yesterday i desided to get my hair cut so that is what sarah and i did..it looks ok,sarahs looks really good. ill post pics of it later. Then i was really really bored,so james and i went to the mall, God that kid is such a sweet Heart i swear he kept saying that i was pretty and i smelled good, and he oppend doors for me and stuff ++ teehee...then we went and got some bob joes, and then up to work to see nikki, she is so awesome ..but there is alot of shit about her and ben going around up there and they want me to beat some girls ass, and im like ok but only if i dont lose my job over it haha...(im such a fucking effer)but yeah nikki is a very awesome chicka...any ways after james brought me home i got all bored again. so me and ryan went out for a little while, wow i didnt relize how much i missed ryan until we were talking about girl guy point of view of an Orgasm .,.i was quit amazed to learn why guys only get off once normally, but like idk it would still be cool as hell just to be a guy for one day...any ways after that me and ryan came and chilled with tom and becky...haha tom is a nice guy and he is so good to becky, i hope they hook up soon, buit the ass hole goes why dont you and ashlery go to homecomming together lol...i guess ill see what happens between joe and i first...lol...So After all of this, Anthony finally calls me...can we say cutie...lol...i work with his aunt aka my manager, and he came up to work the other day and she gave him my digits and he got all excited and stuff, gawd man...i feel like wait..i believe i am single ehh i guess that is one of the joys of it ....

so any ways today im going with ryan to apply for some jobs, then james and i are gonna go play pool then up to the trenton mc donalds to see nikki cuse she closes at that one tonight..teehee dorks..who know maybe ill see grant today maybe not..ehh life goes on....

starswillshoot @ 2004-07-27T09:55:00

2004-07-27T14:20:26Z

It is pouring outside, and i am loveing it. there is nothing like wakeing up to the sounds of rain hitting your roof.*sigh* ,I think i shall go puddle jumping .

Yay! i have made it almost 4 days with out haveing atleast the slightest depressing feeling...i hope this mean betterness for ashley...*wishy fingers*

* well, Becky aka my little sister, she has an interview/auddition on august 8th with some people from hollywood or somthing like that, i dont No all the details, but i do no that it is something to do with singing. so im gonna help her write a song(she ask me too, and i am so excited she did)....BEcky has what it takes...I know she does, she is like and angle sent from heaven with an attitude from hell...any one that has ever herd her sing has only been able to say three things , OH MY GOD!!,,,lol...do you really think i would be sitting here braggging about it if she wasnt good?, so if you see her Wish her good luck or Im her at Hardcandiez06 on aim....but dont tell her where you got her sn from teehee...*

moms gotta work today. so she is makeing dinner now so that it will be done when she gets home, and mmmmmmmm my house smells so delish...Nothing better then that all white meat chilli....

Man i miss school so much ,i Miss choir, and singing, and i miss math, i miss all the good lunch times,and i miss the people that i dont always get to see. only a month and a half to go... :(

Oh shit i just cracked my knee on the desk and it hurt like hell... :0

well ashley and i have been looking at appartments lately, were moving in 10 months, I really like the village green appartments on quarry rd, but there kinda pricy....ehh if its a good deal than well you cant fight that...i mean my dad is paying for school, since i am not going away now for verriou reasons, so i can afford to move out not quit by myself yet, but close enough besides im only gonna be 17. so if you no of any good appartment deals in like southgate wyandotte or riverview be a good sport and let me know

starswillshoot @ 2004-07-26T21:37:00

2004-07-27T01:42:28Z

Ceder Point was so awesome!!..not only that but i got to stay two nights at my fav peeps (Grant and ambers) house..lol..im a dork, i won a nemo looking thing and grant won me a Share Bear care bear, AKA, grants mom first grandchild HAHA hey she said it not me!.The drive was ok i slept on the way home and was awake all the way there, i starded the day with the Mantis, and ended it with the ferris wheel, teehee too bad it rained like alot of the time we were there, but it was fun.....ROLLER COSTERS EFFIN ROCK....i never in a million years though i would say that...and fyi the power tower is a really funky ride...

anyways i just got off work and i smell so yeah

I Love Grant Rutherford!!!!!(and for instead of explaining this millions of times over,) NO we are not together yet!!!